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The Uncomfortable Truth About Natural Communicators

Here's something that'll make you squirm in your ergonomic office chair: natural communicators are actually terrible at teaching communication.

I've spent seventeen years watching companies throw money at communication training, and the most frustrating thing isn't the generic PowerPoints or the role-playing exercises that make everyone cringe. It's watching genuinely charismatic people try to break down their "gift" for the rest of us mere mortals.

Think about it. When did you last hear a naturally gifted speaker explain how they do what they do? They'll say things like "just be yourself" or "speak from the heart" – advice so uselessly vague it makes fortune cookies look comprehensive. It's like asking Usain Bolt to teach running by saying "move your legs faster."

The Charisma Paradox

Most natural communicators developed their skills so early they have zero conscious awareness of what they're actually doing. They're like native speakers trying to explain grammar rules – they know what sounds right, but they can't tell you why.

I learned this the hard way during a workshop in Brisbane about five years ago. The facilitator was this incredibly engaging woman who had everyone hanging on her every word. Brilliant presenter. Absolutely hopeless teacher.

When someone asked about managing nerves, she literally said, "I don't really get nervous, so I'm probably not the best person to ask." At least she was honest. But here's the thing – she was being paid $3,000 a day to help people with communication anxiety, and her solution was essentially "have you tried not being anxious?"

What Actually Works (Spoiler: It's Not Natural)

The best communication trainers I've encountered aren't the smooth-talking naturals. They're the reformed introverts, the former stammerers, the people who had to consciously learn every technique they teach. They remember what it's like to break out in cold sweats before presentations.

Here's my controversial take: artificial communication techniques work better than "authentic" ones for most people. At least initially.

I know, I know. Every LinkedIn guru and their mother preaches authenticity. But authenticity is a luxury for people who are already confident communicators. For everyone else, it's a recipe for stammering disasters.

Learn the formulas first. Master the structure. Practise the techniques until they become second nature. Authenticity comes later, once you're not desperately trying to remember whether you should make eye contact or where to put your hands.

The STAR method for answering questions? Artificial but effective. The rule of three for presentations? Completely made up but works every time. Opening with a question or statistic? Formulaic as hell, but it gets people listening.

The Melbourne Incident

I was running a workshop for a tech company in Melbourne last year, and one of the participants – let's call him David – was having a rough time. Classic engineer type, brilliant mind, communication skills of a brick wall.

David had been passed over for promotion twice because of his presentation skills. During our practice session, he was struggling with a simple project update. Sweating, stumbling, the works.

Instead of telling him to "be more natural," I gave him a rigid script: "Good morning. Today I'll cover three key points. First... Second... Third... Let me start with point one." Robotic? Absolutely. But it gave him something to hang onto.

Six months later, David messaged me. He'd been promoted to team leader and had just delivered a successful presentation to the board. Still using structure, still following formulas, but now he was confident enough to add his own personality into the mix.

That's how it works for most people. Structure first, personality second.

The Real Problem with Communication Training

Here's what drives me mental about most corporate communication programs: they focus on the wrong metrics. Companies measure engagement scores and workshop feedback, but they don't track actual behavioural change.

I've seen hundreds of people walk out of communication workshops feeling inspired and motivated. Six weeks later? Back to their old habits, avoiding difficult conversations and mumbling through meetings.

The issue isn't the training content – though some of it is genuinely terrible. The issue is expecting people to transform their communication style after a two-day workshop. It's like expecting someone to become a marathon runner after a weekend fitness boot camp.

Real communication improvement takes months of deliberate practice, not hours of inspirational speeches.

What Companies Get Wrong (And Right)

Most organisations approach communication training backwards. They wait until someone's communication skills are actively holding them back, then they panic and book emergency training.

Smart companies – and I've worked with a few – build communication development into their regular performance cycles. Monthly one-on-ones that focus on communication wins and losses. Quarterly presentation opportunities that gradually increase in complexity. Annual 360-degree feedback that specifically addresses communication effectiveness.

But here's the thing that'll annoy the natural communicators reading this: some of the most effective leaders I know are still consciously artificial in their communication style. They've learned what works, and they stick to those patterns because results matter more than appearing effortlessly charismatic.

The Science They Don't Tell You

Research from the University of Sydney found that structured communication training produces 34% better long-term results than "natural" or "authentic" approaches. But you won't hear that statistic in most workshops because it doesn't sound inspiring.

People want to believe that great communication is about finding their "inner voice" or "connecting with their passion." The reality is more mundane: it's about learning specific techniques and practising them until they become habits.

My Prediction for 2025

Communication training is about to get more honest about its limitations. The days of promising transformation through weekend workshops are numbered. Companies are starting to demand measurable outcomes, not just positive feedback forms.

We'll see more skills-based approaches, more long-term development programs, and fewer charismatic speakers selling miracle solutions.

The natural communicators won't like this shift because it reduces their mystique. But for everyone else – the majority of us who have to work at this stuff – it's long overdue recognition that communication is a learnable skill, not a personality trait.

And that's probably the most uncomfortable truth of all: great communication isn't about being naturally gifted. It's about being deliberately practised.

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